Breaking News!

Radioactive Wasteland is Wasteland!
Scientists claim that the high levels of radiation around Chernobyl are harmful to animals. Well no shit, Sherlock.
I saw a documentary about the scientists that have to maintain the sarcophagus around Chernobyl's reactor. They don't have proper radiation gear, so they just tie plastic bags around themselves. It's better than nothing, they said.
They don't have robots to investigate the interior, so they go in themselves. They are giving their lives because of lack of funds, and yet money is being wasted on finding out that radiation is harmful to animals? The damn things liable to collapse any day now, spewing out even more radioactive debris. You think maybe we should spend this money rebuilding the Sarcophagus? It needs to stand for the next 10,000 years (To put that into context, The Great Pyramid is only 4500 years old), and if it fails, people DIE.


In an unrelated story, a study has recommended that old people not attempt to climb Mount Everest, as they might die.
You think? Old people aren't even supposed to go on roller-coasters because it's dangerous. Noone should be climbing up mountains unless they're in good shape, like my Great Uncle Eddie was when he climbed Everest.

So basically, scientists should stop wasting their time stating the obvious, and start inventing the Flying Car. Or at the very least a cure for cancer.

And finally, Students with good grades (like me) are more likely to get a job than people who get bad grades (like Timmy). Again, is this really news? Clever people in employability shocker!