Coincidence? I think not!

So. I was perving on women on Facebook (as you do. Well, as I do at least) and I found a rather hot brunette dressed as Alice in Wonderland. So I clicked on her. Imagine my surprise when it turns out we have a friend in common (actually several).


Why does everyone know each other these days?

Mario Strikers: Second Thoughts

OK, it's not that bad really. In fact it's quite good. I'm still rubbish at it, but that's cos I can't get the hang of playing on a pitch that is actively trying to kill me.
I suppose it's quite good fun really.


Oh, and I'm sorry for losing against Germany in that tournament I played in today. But we're England, we're supposed to lose against Germany.

Unless it's in a war.

Catholicism v Human Rights

Seriously, why does anyone still take them seriously?

Mario Strikers: First Thoughts

I am getting seriously pissed off at these games that make you wave your arm around like lunatic in order to use vital functions. I don't mind it in tennis, where the movements are like real tennis but in football you don't wave your arm to tackle, so why should I have to in the game?
Nintendo should have made a decent pad with buttons on it. That way they wouldn't have to compromise the gameplay with shoddy control systems.
Zelda makes you waggle your arm to swing the sword, which was bad enough, but at least using a sword in real life does involve moving your arms. But tackling? If your using your arms to tackle you'll be getting booked. Which brings me onto another point: Where's the referee? Why is the AI allowed to blatantly foul? I'm not talking about the Power Shots, (though these are annoying enough as it is) I mean actually shoulder charging me off the ball, leaving my guy unconscious for about 30 seconds.
There's a good game in here somewhere. It's just marred by these ridiculous waggle controls. For Christ's sake Nintendo, allow developers to use the Classic Controller\Game Cube pad where appropriate. Heck, you can make money out of selling the extra peripherals. Just don't compromise gameplay to show off how innovative you are.

I never thought I'd say this, but come back Pro Evo. All is forgiven.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BLUE PETER???

Back in my day, Blue Peter was cool. It told you how to do interesting things, like make Tracy Island out of ordinary household items.
Now it's just another Reality Talent Show, like Pop Idol or the Apprentice. I worry for kids today. I really do.

Am I turning into a grumpy old man already?

I was saying this months ago

Protesters are calling for an inquiry into the shoddy parenting that led to Madeline McCann being left unattended in a hotel room. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks her parents should be hauled out in front of everyone and criticised for not looking after their kids properly. Time and time again kids get abducted and murdered because their parents couldn't be bothered to look after them.
Holly & Jessica? Allowed to wander the streets for hours before anyone realised they were missing.
Sarah Payne? Left playing in a cornfield unattended.

Parents need to learn that if they don't want their kids to get raped and murdered, they should make an effort to look after them. Until then they deserve to have their kids taken from them (by social services, not a paedophile)

Mercenaries Obituary

The following was originally written by Glenn while he watched me play Mercenaries on the original Xbox. Suffice to say it took me a few goes to get it right, as we shall see.

1. Killed in Car Crash
Killed a few gooks

2. Shot in Back
Cannot drive tank - dickhead

3. Blown Up!
Loves Character - till wet
Cannot "reverse"

4. Killed while charging tank with bayonet! - fools
Carpet bombs civillians
Reported last words: "Don't shoot til you see the whites of their eyes!

5. Landed, pierced on a sharp rock, twitching after being blown away
Expressed surprise at being shot at
Wailed "Run Away!" sixteen times while near death!
Carpet bombed a single tank

6. Fell off back of lorry

7. Killed by a completely random explosion
Panicked and tipped tank when under no enemy fire at all

8. Speeding in an APC, clipped the edge of a pebble and rolled 12 dozen times into a radioactive lake
NB: Technically it was a river\sea (roll on next death)

9. Reenacted Tianamen Square (was run over by a Communist Tank)
Gets stuck between a bush and a tree in a 35tonne North Korean tank

10. Run over by fleet of jeeps
Exceeds monthly alcohol limit within 2.5 hours. Crashes his vehicle shortly after.

11. Killed while climbing a mountain by yetis
Nearly blown to smithereens while using all his time and energy physically assaulting a tank

12. No Death!
Survived a 250ft drop off a mountain peak in an APC
AND
Called in a carpet bomb strike on his own position
BUT
Destroyed the SUPERGUN for the first time in his life.

DID IT!

---

And there you have it. The thrilling story of a night in Sunderland. I'd like to point out that Oli and I subsequently went out, and both scored (admittedly Oli scored with his girlfriend, but it still counts I suppose), which means we're not geeks.

Unlucky 13

I didn't want to have 13 posts, so I decided to post a new one just to push it up to 14. I know it's just superstition, but I don't want to take any chances.

Congratulations to Lewis Hamilton

Flawless race from Lewis Hamilton. I felt quite emotional when he actually crossed the finish line, and once he was on the podium with God Save the Queen playing, I was nearly crying.
This man is going definitely going places. I'm very tempted to put a bet on him winning the Championship, cos it seems possible - especially if Alonso decides to keep off-roading :)
Also, I'm glad to hear that Kubica is OK, just a broken leg. Really speaks to the strength of the cars that someone can walk away (not literally in this case) from such an horrendous accident