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Thursday, 15 November 2007
Friday, 24 August 2007
Bioshock Log #001: Here be Spoilers!
I've just beaten Doctor Steineman. He's the first boss, so I figured now would be a good time to maek post with my thoughts so far. If you haven't played Bioshock yet (and if you haven't, you'd better have a damn good excuse) don't read this, because it contains spoilers (as if you didn't guess from the title)
Graphically it's nothing less than stunning. I can't wait to play it on an HDTV to see how much better it looks. I'll start off with some general thoughts, then outline my favourite moments so far.
The hacking minigame is a lot better than Oblivion's lockpicking. Instead of pushing up, and pressing A at just the right moment like in Oblivion (which really turned into luck as much as anything) Bioshock requires that you assemble a route from one side of the screen to the other in a time limit. It's pretty good fun. Failure leads to a small explosion, which damages your health, which isn't too big a deal since you can carry up to 9 health packs, and you can always find more, or just buy them from vending machines.
Now, onto my favourite bits. The atmosphere overall is amazing, but the scariest bit so far was when I went into the morgue. I mean, let's face it: a morgue is a scary place to start off with, but when you've got genetically modified super-freaks scattered about the place it gets even scarier. The freakiest bit though was when I turned a corner and found a Splicer crying over a coffin. She had her back turned to me, so I just zapped her and unloaded my shotgun into her. I went over to search her body (to see if she had any goodies), and then I realised something: the coffin was child sized. It gave me shivers just thinking about it.
Another terrifying bit was when I was just happily walking along, and found a body. I started checking it for loot, when the lights went out. That's scary enough, but then I heard the voices. I switched to my trusty shotgun. I couldn't see anything, so I couldn't shoot. Then the lights came up.
I was surrounded by 4 or 5 Splicers D: I was able to deal with them without too much hassle, but the initial shock was pretty epic.
Now onto my favourite bit so far: the battle with the good Doctor. I saw him slashing up a (dead) patient, ranting about wanting to make the perfect human. I went into the room, and prepared myself for battle. At first I just tried circle-strafing him. Then I remembered one of the promotional Plasmid videos I saw when I got my telekinesis powers. It claimed that you couldn't use it to stop a speeding bullet.
"Sod that", I thought. If Keanu Reeves can stop a speeding bullet, so can I. I switched to telekinesis, and stopped a handful of machine gun bullets. I then threw them straight back at him. Somehow this set him on fire, and he dived into a nearby pool of water.
"Aha. I have you now, Doc." I fired my electric powers into the water. He began to electrocute.
Job's done; the Doctors dead.
If it stays this good, it will be a strong contender for my GoTY.
Graphically it's nothing less than stunning. I can't wait to play it on an HDTV to see how much better it looks. I'll start off with some general thoughts, then outline my favourite moments so far.
The hacking minigame is a lot better than Oblivion's lockpicking. Instead of pushing up, and pressing A at just the right moment like in Oblivion (which really turned into luck as much as anything) Bioshock requires that you assemble a route from one side of the screen to the other in a time limit. It's pretty good fun. Failure leads to a small explosion, which damages your health, which isn't too big a deal since you can carry up to 9 health packs, and you can always find more, or just buy them from vending machines.
Now, onto my favourite bits. The atmosphere overall is amazing, but the scariest bit so far was when I went into the morgue. I mean, let's face it: a morgue is a scary place to start off with, but when you've got genetically modified super-freaks scattered about the place it gets even scarier. The freakiest bit though was when I turned a corner and found a Splicer crying over a coffin. She had her back turned to me, so I just zapped her and unloaded my shotgun into her. I went over to search her body (to see if she had any goodies), and then I realised something: the coffin was child sized. It gave me shivers just thinking about it.
Another terrifying bit was when I was just happily walking along, and found a body. I started checking it for loot, when the lights went out. That's scary enough, but then I heard the voices. I switched to my trusty shotgun. I couldn't see anything, so I couldn't shoot. Then the lights came up.
I was surrounded by 4 or 5 Splicers D: I was able to deal with them without too much hassle, but the initial shock was pretty epic.
Now onto my favourite bit so far: the battle with the good Doctor. I saw him slashing up a (dead) patient, ranting about wanting to make the perfect human. I went into the room, and prepared myself for battle. At first I just tried circle-strafing him. Then I remembered one of the promotional Plasmid videos I saw when I got my telekinesis powers. It claimed that you couldn't use it to stop a speeding bullet.
"Sod that", I thought. If Keanu Reeves can stop a speeding bullet, so can I. I switched to telekinesis, and stopped a handful of machine gun bullets. I then threw them straight back at him. Somehow this set him on fire, and he dived into a nearby pool of water.
"Aha. I have you now, Doc." I fired my electric powers into the water. He began to electrocute.
Job's done; the Doctors dead.
If it stays this good, it will be a strong contender for my GoTY.
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
We have the technology...
... let us use it to develop the most pointless features ever seen on a mouse.
Microsoft have unveiled their new Sidewinder Gaming Mouse. It's features include the ability to record motion of up to 20g. Impressive stuff. Let's look at what that actually means. 1g is 9.8M/S2. 20g means an acceleration of 196 M/S2. Fighter Pilots usually only pull 9 g. You're telling me that some fat geek (I'm not being insulting, Deus knows I'm fat and geeky) is supposed to be able to pull more g than a trained, fit professional?
At 20g, the mouse will weigh up to 600g. On top of that you've got the mass of your arm, multiplied by 20. It's the same as a bag of sugar, you really think you can aim with that thing?
Other pointless features include an LCD screen. For what purpose? When I'm playing a game, I like to watch the screen, so as to ensure I don't get shot to pieces. How am I supposed to do that when I'm struggling to read data off of some tiny little screen?
This is undoubtedly a fine piece of equipment, but it's over-engineered. Which is shown in the price - £35 for a mouse? No thanks, I'll spend the money on a game if you don't mind.
Microsoft have unveiled their new Sidewinder Gaming Mouse. It's features include the ability to record motion of up to 20g. Impressive stuff. Let's look at what that actually means. 1g is 9.8M/S2. 20g means an acceleration of 196 M/S2. Fighter Pilots usually only pull 9 g. You're telling me that some fat geek (I'm not being insulting, Deus knows I'm fat and geeky) is supposed to be able to pull more g than a trained, fit professional?
At 20g, the mouse will weigh up to 600g. On top of that you've got the mass of your arm, multiplied by 20. It's the same as a bag of sugar, you really think you can aim with that thing?
Other pointless features include an LCD screen. For what purpose? When I'm playing a game, I like to watch the screen, so as to ensure I don't get shot to pieces. How am I supposed to do that when I'm struggling to read data off of some tiny little screen?
This is undoubtedly a fine piece of equipment, but it's over-engineered. Which is shown in the price - £35 for a mouse? No thanks, I'll spend the money on a game if you don't mind.
Monday, 20 August 2007
A child Molester walks into a Doctors surgery...
"I'm having trouble getting an errection", says the paedophile. "It means I can't rape little boys any more"
"Don't worry, mon ami! Take these blue pills and you'll be buggering little children with no hassle" replied the Doctor.
Based on a true story!
WTF France?
"Don't worry, mon ami! Take these blue pills and you'll be buggering little children with no hassle" replied the Doctor.
Based on a true story!
WTF France?
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
More Breaking News!
Increased costs lead to increased debt!
Students get charged more tuition fees. Miraculously debt levels increased! Who'd have thought that making people pay more money would lead to them...
... paying more money.
Why are people doing studies into this? Who pays for them? Dammit I want in! I want to get paid a fortune to state the obvious.
Students get charged more tuition fees. Miraculously debt levels increased! Who'd have thought that making people pay more money would lead to them...
... paying more money.
Why are people doing studies into this? Who pays for them? Dammit I want in! I want to get paid a fortune to state the obvious.
Breaking News!
Radioactive Wasteland is Wasteland!
Scientists claim that the high levels of radiation around Chernobyl are harmful to animals. Well no shit, Sherlock.
I saw a documentary about the scientists that have to maintain the sarcophagus around Chernobyl's reactor. They don't have proper radiation gear, so they just tie plastic bags around themselves. It's better than nothing, they said.
They don't have robots to investigate the interior, so they go in themselves. They are giving their lives because of lack of funds, and yet money is being wasted on finding out that radiation is harmful to animals? The damn things liable to collapse any day now, spewing out even more radioactive debris. You think maybe we should spend this money rebuilding the Sarcophagus? It needs to stand for the next 10,000 years (To put that into context, The Great Pyramid is only 4500 years old), and if it fails, people DIE.
In an unrelated story, a study has recommended that old people not attempt to climb Mount Everest, as they might die.
You think? Old people aren't even supposed to go on roller-coasters because it's dangerous. Noone should be climbing up mountains unless they're in good shape, like my Great Uncle Eddie was when he climbed Everest.
So basically, scientists should stop wasting their time stating the obvious, and start inventing the Flying Car. Or at the very least a cure for cancer.
And finally, Students with good grades (like me) are more likely to get a job than people who get bad grades (like Timmy). Again, is this really news? Clever people in employability shocker!
Scientists claim that the high levels of radiation around Chernobyl are harmful to animals. Well no shit, Sherlock.
I saw a documentary about the scientists that have to maintain the sarcophagus around Chernobyl's reactor. They don't have proper radiation gear, so they just tie plastic bags around themselves. It's better than nothing, they said.
They don't have robots to investigate the interior, so they go in themselves. They are giving their lives because of lack of funds, and yet money is being wasted on finding out that radiation is harmful to animals? The damn things liable to collapse any day now, spewing out even more radioactive debris. You think maybe we should spend this money rebuilding the Sarcophagus? It needs to stand for the next 10,000 years (To put that into context, The Great Pyramid is only 4500 years old), and if it fails, people DIE.
In an unrelated story, a study has recommended that old people not attempt to climb Mount Everest, as they might die.
You think? Old people aren't even supposed to go on roller-coasters because it's dangerous. Noone should be climbing up mountains unless they're in good shape, like my Great Uncle Eddie was when he climbed Everest.
So basically, scientists should stop wasting their time stating the obvious, and start inventing the Flying Car. Or at the very least a cure for cancer.
And finally, Students with good grades (like me) are more likely to get a job than people who get bad grades (like Timmy). Again, is this really news? Clever people in employability shocker!
Monday, 13 August 2007
Don't worry, there are no known side-effects
Although there were significant numbers of deaths in the 1930s and 1940s. You know what Doc, I think I'll take my chances with MRSA.
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